A few days ago a news story broke where a 9 year old boy was banned from bringing his My Little Pony backpack to school, on grounds that it would instigate bullies who can't see the concept that a boy would be a fan of this character, which is traditionally marketed towards little girls. My initial reaction was outrage. This kid, who is in the formative years of his life, is being told, in a humiliating, spirit crushing way, that he was wrong, not the bullies. All for bringing a backpack he chose into school, that wasn't hurting or offending anyone, but might have been a little different than what most of the boys in class would have. If a girl brought a transformer backpack to school, would anyone say a word? But it goes past all that. The real outrage is that the school more or less gave the power to the bullies.
Of course people started bringing sexual orientation into it. If this boy likes My Little Pony he must be gay and thus this is a homophobic attack. He's NINE! Maybe he will be gay, and maybe he won't be, but that has nothing to do with him being a fan of My Little Pony. A guy I used to work with was gay, and he liked gangsta rap and action movies. Stereotypes be damned, hey?
However, I am not looking at this objectively. I am a 35 year old, (I think) reasonably well-adjusted adult who is open minded to people and their differences, and it's been 26 years since I've been a 9 year old. But I do remember how it was. And so in recollection, would I have made fun of a boy in my class who brought a My Little Pony backpack to school?
I am ashamed to say I probably would have...and that's solely because I was too stupid and closed-minded to know better. The 35 year old me would be appalled to admit it, but the 9 year old me probably would've snickered or made tasteless remarks about it. That's bad enough in my opinion.
However, I also had parents who blamed me for bad grades, not my teachers....who gave me crap for acting up, because it was my fault, not anyone else's. If my Mom and Dad caught wind of me making fun of a kid for this reason, let's just say I would be taught a lesson in acceptance. In short I was taught accountability.
That's why I am not asking for the heads of the bullies like I saw a lot of people were. They are probably not terrible kids, just stupid and closed minded as I was. I grew up okay, and I'm sure most of the people who bullied me growing up did too. But this whole backpack thing did nothing but teach the bullies that it's okay to bully people they feel are different, and the boy with the backpack was taught that being different will only get you punished. Nobody wins in this situation.
So what would've been a better way to handle it?
Well, suppose I was their teacher. Would I ban the backpack? No. I would probably bring a My Little Pony backpack to school as well to prove a point to both the boy and the bullies. Hopefully I would teach them that coexisting in school is small potatoes compared to the real world, because in the real world, you will encounter everyone, of all shapes sizes, colours, and backpacks.
Saturday, 22 March 2014
Friday, 24 January 2014
A Bittersweet Anniversary
Friday, January 25, 2013
The day started like any other. Got my XL Triple Triple and Toasted blueberry bagel with butter, and headed off to work. I spent the previous two weeks running the shipping department to cover our shipper/receiver's vacation, and it was a gruelling two weeks! I was pretty excited going in as it was the last day. I got no indication at all that something was amiss, and suddenly we got an email from one of our owners. The "good news" was that our company was bought out, and unfortunately there would be "a few" cutbacks, but this would strengthen the brand and be better in the long run. An uneasy feeling came over me. I am a guy who is convinced I will be fired every time I have a review at work, so you can imagine how this sat with me. What made it even worse was that our production manager, my direct supervisor, looked like a ghost. Not talking to or making eye contact with anyone. I worked really closely with him especially for the last two years, and I took over a lot of his responsibilities and he really mentored me in my progress there. And he wouldn't say two words to me.....
Not really one to keep my mouth shut when I should, I endeavoured to find out what the hell was going on, but I didn't need to.....I got an email saying that there was an impromptu meeting in the lunchroom and to report there immediately. So the entire production staff, assemblers, buyers, service techs, inventory clerks, and this poster all filed nervously into the lunch room. Gord, one of our owner's and the managing president of the company, could barely choke back the words that, basically, not one of us would have a job after April 30th. The reactions varied from stunned shock, to bitter anger, to terrified panic. The Vice President of the company that bought us, along with his HR manager came in and, with maddening fake-sincerity, told us how valuable we were and thats why we were "invited" to stay on for 3 months to help with the transition. Of course not stated by him but in his documentation, was that to qualify to get our severance we HAD to work that 3 months, or we would forfeit it, along with our retiring bonus, and walk out with nothing. Most stayed, more out of financial security than of loyalty of a company we would soon no longer recognize. My Production Manager, told us all to forget whatever we were doing and just go home and figure things out for the weekend. And to do what was best for us and don't worry about the company's best interests. For him, it was many times worse than it was for us, because not only did he have to worry about himself and his family, he worried about us too.
The next 3 months were agonizing for all who stayed, as the new company never let us forget how expendable we were. I was put in charge of spearheading the Inventory changeover, which meant millions of dollars being bulk shipped to the United States. All while they micromanaged my every move. I can honestly say it was the most miserable time I've ever spent working, and I've washed dishes at a Chinese restaurant! The 3 months seemed to fly by and by the end, it felt like a death. I started there in 2006, just after they moved into their new building and were still very much in the process of building everything....now watching it all being dismantled before my eyes was a little hard to take. Still, the happiest I was there was when my friends Amanda and Elise worked there still.....both of them left by then and it didn't feel worth staying even a job was offered. I missed them a lot, especially towards the end when it felt like it was every sucker for themselves.
Now a year later, I am 8 months into another job for a similar company. While it does provide security, it's not a permanent thing and I am pursuing other jobs. My old company wasn't perfect, it drove me crazy more often than not, but it was home, and we felt like a family. I miss that...
The day started like any other. Got my XL Triple Triple and Toasted blueberry bagel with butter, and headed off to work. I spent the previous two weeks running the shipping department to cover our shipper/receiver's vacation, and it was a gruelling two weeks! I was pretty excited going in as it was the last day. I got no indication at all that something was amiss, and suddenly we got an email from one of our owners. The "good news" was that our company was bought out, and unfortunately there would be "a few" cutbacks, but this would strengthen the brand and be better in the long run. An uneasy feeling came over me. I am a guy who is convinced I will be fired every time I have a review at work, so you can imagine how this sat with me. What made it even worse was that our production manager, my direct supervisor, looked like a ghost. Not talking to or making eye contact with anyone. I worked really closely with him especially for the last two years, and I took over a lot of his responsibilities and he really mentored me in my progress there. And he wouldn't say two words to me.....
Not really one to keep my mouth shut when I should, I endeavoured to find out what the hell was going on, but I didn't need to.....I got an email saying that there was an impromptu meeting in the lunchroom and to report there immediately. So the entire production staff, assemblers, buyers, service techs, inventory clerks, and this poster all filed nervously into the lunch room. Gord, one of our owner's and the managing president of the company, could barely choke back the words that, basically, not one of us would have a job after April 30th. The reactions varied from stunned shock, to bitter anger, to terrified panic. The Vice President of the company that bought us, along with his HR manager came in and, with maddening fake-sincerity, told us how valuable we were and thats why we were "invited" to stay on for 3 months to help with the transition. Of course not stated by him but in his documentation, was that to qualify to get our severance we HAD to work that 3 months, or we would forfeit it, along with our retiring bonus, and walk out with nothing. Most stayed, more out of financial security than of loyalty of a company we would soon no longer recognize. My Production Manager, told us all to forget whatever we were doing and just go home and figure things out for the weekend. And to do what was best for us and don't worry about the company's best interests. For him, it was many times worse than it was for us, because not only did he have to worry about himself and his family, he worried about us too.
The next 3 months were agonizing for all who stayed, as the new company never let us forget how expendable we were. I was put in charge of spearheading the Inventory changeover, which meant millions of dollars being bulk shipped to the United States. All while they micromanaged my every move. I can honestly say it was the most miserable time I've ever spent working, and I've washed dishes at a Chinese restaurant! The 3 months seemed to fly by and by the end, it felt like a death. I started there in 2006, just after they moved into their new building and were still very much in the process of building everything....now watching it all being dismantled before my eyes was a little hard to take. Still, the happiest I was there was when my friends Amanda and Elise worked there still.....both of them left by then and it didn't feel worth staying even a job was offered. I missed them a lot, especially towards the end when it felt like it was every sucker for themselves.
Now a year later, I am 8 months into another job for a similar company. While it does provide security, it's not a permanent thing and I am pursuing other jobs. My old company wasn't perfect, it drove me crazy more often than not, but it was home, and we felt like a family. I miss that...
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