A few days ago a news story broke where a 9 year old boy was banned from bringing his My Little Pony backpack to school, on grounds that it would instigate bullies who can't see the concept that a boy would be a fan of this character, which is traditionally marketed towards little girls. My initial reaction was outrage. This kid, who is in the formative years of his life, is being told, in a humiliating, spirit crushing way, that he was wrong, not the bullies. All for bringing a backpack he chose into school, that wasn't hurting or offending anyone, but might have been a little different than what most of the boys in class would have. If a girl brought a transformer backpack to school, would anyone say a word? But it goes past all that. The real outrage is that the school more or less gave the power to the bullies.
Of course people started bringing sexual orientation into it. If this boy likes My Little Pony he must be gay and thus this is a homophobic attack. He's NINE! Maybe he will be gay, and maybe he won't be, but that has nothing to do with him being a fan of My Little Pony. A guy I used to work with was gay, and he liked gangsta rap and action movies. Stereotypes be damned, hey?
However, I am not looking at this objectively. I am a 35 year old, (I think) reasonably well-adjusted adult who is open minded to people and their differences, and it's been 26 years since I've been a 9 year old. But I do remember how it was. And so in recollection, would I have made fun of a boy in my class who brought a My Little Pony backpack to school?
I am ashamed to say I probably would have...and that's solely because I was too stupid and closed-minded to know better. The 35 year old me would be appalled to admit it, but the 9 year old me probably would've snickered or made tasteless remarks about it. That's bad enough in my opinion.
However, I also had parents who blamed me for bad grades, not my teachers....who gave me crap for acting up, because it was my fault, not anyone else's. If my Mom and Dad caught wind of me making fun of a kid for this reason, let's just say I would be taught a lesson in acceptance. In short I was taught accountability.
That's why I am not asking for the heads of the bullies like I saw a lot of people were. They are probably not terrible kids, just stupid and closed minded as I was. I grew up okay, and I'm sure most of the people who bullied me growing up did too. But this whole backpack thing did nothing but teach the bullies that it's okay to bully people they feel are different, and the boy with the backpack was taught that being different will only get you punished. Nobody wins in this situation.
So what would've been a better way to handle it?
Well, suppose I was their teacher. Would I ban the backpack? No. I would probably bring a My Little Pony backpack to school as well to prove a point to both the boy and the bullies. Hopefully I would teach them that coexisting in school is small potatoes compared to the real world, because in the real world, you will encounter everyone, of all shapes sizes, colours, and backpacks.
