Self reflection time......goody....
I'm sitting on my deck, enjoying the nice sunshine with a cold beer in my hand, going through Facebook. Of course I'm also on my computer....
I see friends and acquaintances I grew up with, mostly around the same age as I am, and they are mostly married, have kids, have their lives established, and I look around and realize I am very behind the 8 ball. I have a well paying job, and live in a nice place, have great friends and a wonderful family, but aside from a furball who would love me unconditionally as long as I feed her, my house, my life itself, feels a little empty. I've had numerous chances to get married over the years, with people who could have easily made me happy and vice versa. I could sit here and say I only attract crazies, but it really isn't true(though there have been a few....). I think my problem is I want what I can't have. As much as I hate quoting a Lady Gaga song, there really is something about the chase.
It's not even like I don't want to meet someone. Thing is, I find myself thinking more and more about a platonic friend. Someone I've known for a long time, but feel the most relaxed and able to be myself with than just about anyone. However, we have such an awesome friendship I couldn't even think about risking it for a relationship that may or may not work out, even if she felt the same way. Or is it more because I know deep down that she doesn't, and again it's the chase that draws me to her.
Or maybe this 34 year old man should stop acting like he's 20 and grow up.
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